What You Need to Know About Planning a Wedding During COVID-19
If you just got engaged during the COVID-19 pandemic, the thought of planning a wedding can feel overwhelming. The pandemic has been the catalyst for many engagements, and a COVID wedding has even more things to navigate. Though the planning of a COVID wedding can feel mind boggling, try not to panic. Remember why you are getting married in the first place! This is the day you get to commit to spending your life with your bestie.
With so many unknowns, it’s hard to settle on a date without knowing what the future holds. Rather than focusing on aspects of the day that you can’t control, think about all of the things that you can control. Having a backup plan in place in the event that things change is a good idea, too. Whatever makes the day feel like it's yours, I'm here for it. Having helped many couples through this time, I have a few tips to consider to make planning your COVID wedding a little easier.
Pick a Date
Start by choosing a date, and have a backup plan in place! You’re not alone in this pandemic planning time. Countless weddings have been postponed, plans have been changed, and people have become creative with venues. Find a date that works for you, and decide how firm you are on this detail. What would make this date not work? Create your timeline with current restrictions in place, so you’re planning for the worst case scenario while hoping for the best. Ask yourself: if your date arrives, are you happy to go ahead with the wedding with current restrictions in place?
Meet With Vendors Virtually
While we’re all used to meeting for coffee, walking through venues together, and connecting in person, move your vendor meetings virtual. Aside from being the safe option, this will save you a ton of time and headache. Now that we’re almost a year into COVID weddings, most vendors have a process in place to deal with the uniqueness of the situation. Ensure that you have contracts in place with COVID clauses to protect yourself and the vendor. Think of alternate scenarios. What if we need catering for 150 instead of 30? What if we need to postpone our date? What if regulations change right before our wedding? Consider alternatives, and talk it out with your vendor. There are so many unique solutions that can make sure the wedding is a positive experience for you and your vendors.
Choose Flexible Vendors
More than ever it’s essential to have vendors with a little flexibility. Open-ended questions can help you gain a better understanding of your vendors’ situation. For example, asking about a last minute venue change or potential capacity. This can help you start to think of situations outside the ordinary that you might encounter. Simply having conversations like this with your cater, venue operator, florist, etc, helps both of you to anticipate change and adapt to a situation with optimism. Points to stress here: the importance of asking the hard questions to ensure that you are both covered in the event that something changes. Also ensuring that there are proper contracts in place for them and for you!
Create a Vision for Your Day
After witnessing my fair share of COVID weddings, I see how wonderful, special, and unique this experience truly is. People have given up huge weddings for intimate celebrations, bumping dance floors for deep connection. It’s truly been so beautiful. Consider what is important to you and your partner. Get inspired — look at small wedding ideas and intimate weddings on Pinterest. Because you might be looking at 30 people instead of 300, maybe you can afford to go champagne and caviar on some of your special ideas. Some of my couples have given up large buffets for five-course plated dinners, rented centrepieces for beautiful flower arrangements, huge spaces for intimate venues.
Elaborate on the Details
If you’ve opted for a COVID wedding, chances are, your wedding is going to be an intimate affair. With fewer people on the guest list, you can spend more time on the details. Get creative! Think of the things and experiences that you and your partner value, and how you can bring them to your shortened guest list. Since you don’t need a huge banquet room, maybe you have your wedding at your favourite restaurant. Having fewer people allows you to splurge on some of the other line items. It’s the details of the day that make your wedding unique.
Get on the Same Page as Your Partner
Have a conversation with your partner about the reality and expectations of the day. If you plan a COVID wedding, what will it look like? Are we both okay with that, or should we postpone? How important is it to you to have a full guest list? Whether you want to do it, or wait until you can have your full guest list, just make sure that you are both on the same page. Go into the planning process understanding pandemic realities, an altered timeline, and the new benchmark. Some couples don’t want to wait any longer to get hitched, and others are happy to ride out a longer engagement. Both options are great, just be sure to select the one that’s best for you and your partner.
Build a Wedding Website
Rather than spending a bunch of money on invites, consider making a wedding website. With protocol, regulations, and capacity changing frequently, a website gives you a quick way to update friends and family on your plan. It’s easier to add a banner to your website than to send a postcard to 150 people to notify them of changes. No technical experience necessary — you can make a free website through The Knot or Wedding Wire. They’re easy to use, and it can be fun to build this. You can use images from your engagement session or selfies of the two of you, fill in the key details, then voila, you’re done!
Be Flexible
It’s okay to steer away from traditional parts of the day. Marriage now, party later. Small wedding this year, then honeymoon two years down the road. Heck, you don’t even have to have a wedding party. Many couples planning a COVID wedding shrink their bridal party to make room for more people. Consider having one person stand up for each of you, allowing for more family for a smaller affair. Many people think that by stepping away from tradition, it won’t feel like a wedding, and that’s not the case at all! The more you focus on what you want and how you can make the day reflect the two of you, regardless of tradition, the more special your wedding day will feel.
Don’t Lose Sight
Planning a wedding is not easy. Now, throw in a global pandemic, and it’s easy to get caught up in all the added details. Planning contingency weddings for 30, 50, 100, 150 people, selecting a venue, protecting your deposits, etc. While you’re in the midst of all of this, don’t lose sight of the reason you’re doing all this work — you get to marry your best friend! That’s what the day is really about. If both of you are happy, that’s what matters. Many couples have had to plan several different weddings, then change because of restrictions, and then change again. This can be frustrating and disheartening. Ask yourself — are you willing to do that? My advice: plan a wedding with current restrictions in place, and in the event that something changes, you can re-evaluate at that time. This way you aren't continually getting stressed about new rules changing. The most important thing is getting married, isn't it? If you want to get married now AND you want a big party, think about doing your marriage now, then party later. On the other hand, if you and your partner want a wedding with 200+ people, be prepared to wait. Decide what's important to you.
Be Prepared to Cut Your Numbers
The main reason a lot of couples decide to postpone their COVID wedding is the numbers. If you decide to get married during the pandemic, know that your wedding will be an intimate affair with less people than you may have had otherwise. With smaller numbers, you can involve your guests more heavily. Some couples have everyone present do a short toast or read a line of a poem. There are so many beautiful ways you can play up the intimacy angle.
Many of the couples I’ve worked with in the last year have actually celebrated this! Although they were looking forward to a big wedding, they pushed through and had a smaller gathering, and they loved every second of it. With a small wedding, you can talk to all your guests, and focus on fun rather than squeezing in a handshake and a hug with everyone present.
Let Go of Judgements
Oddly enough, one of the main deterrents of a COVID wedding is wondering what people will think. Some couples worry that people will judge them for having a wedding during this time. My advice around this is to try to let go. You will never be able to make everyone happy, so focus on making yourselves happy. Plan your wedding as safely as possible, taking whatever precautions are suggested by the government. Of course if you want to postpone, that’s okay too! There is no shame in doing that. Don’t be scared of what people think, regardless of which route you decide to go. It’s your wedding, and it will only be your feelings hurt 10+ years down the road when you think back. The last thing I want is for my couples to look back on their wedding and wish that things could have been different.
Planning a COVID Wedding
There’s no reason why a COVID wedding can’t be every bit as special as a non-pandemic wedding. Many of the couples I’ve worked with have found it to be a good excuse to cut their numbers to the core group of people they want, anyway. And for some people, postponing until after the vaccine is the right choice. It’s a personal decision, and I support you 100% of the way, whatever path you choose. I want you to do whatever is the best choice for YOU. I don't want you to be held back by the fear of a covid wedding, or to feel scared that a small wedding isn't what you want.
Talk with other couples, ask me questions, do your research, get inspired online. Your small wedding can be every bit as special as a big one! And if you decide to postpone, that's okay too, just be prepared to wait. Have an honest conversation with each other about what the next five years looks like. Are you planning on having kids? If so, is it important to either of you to be married first? What are your financial goals? Will a big wedding two years down the road set you back at that time? There are so many important things to consider when it comes to wedding planning, and covid wedding planning throws in one more thing to think about!
Want to talk through it with someone with experience? I can help you make your wedding all that you want it to be, during covid or after. Get in touch — I’d love to have a virtual coffee with you to talk through your options.