First Look: What You Need to Know
So, you’re on the fence about whether or not to do a first look. I get it, and I got you.
As your wedding day approaches, you have to decide if you want to do a first look. Will you see each other pre-ceremony, or will the big reveal be as you walk down the aisle? There is no right answer — every couple is different! I’ve been around a time or two when it comes to weddings, and I’ve seen almost every scenario play out. There are perks on either side and at the end of the day, you need to decide what’s best for you. Think about what having or not having a first look means to you. From conversations, research, and past experience of other couples, I’ve compiled some of the perks of having — and not having — a first look to help you decide what option is right for you.
What is a First Look?
You probably know — or can simply guess — what a first look is already. For those new to the world of weddings, a first look is the first time that the bride and groom see each other on the wedding day. Traditionally, the first time the couple saw each other on their wedding day was during that heart-thumping, breath-caught-in-your-throat walk down the aisle. Now, many couples choose to see each other pre-ceremony. The first look is a modern tradition involving a one-on-one photo session between the bride and groom where they see each other for the first time prior to the ceremony. The first look allows couples to share this special moment together in a private setting, without all of the eyes that will be watching. Just the two of you….and me.
The Perks of Doing a First Look
A lot of people assume that having a first look will spoil the ceremony or that it won't be as special, but that's not the case. No matter what you choose, you'll be overwhelmed with emotion. If you’re thinking about doing a first look, here are some of the perks:
Calm Wedding Day Jitters
Marrying the person of your dreams is so exciting. A level of excitement we are not used to in our normal lives! This is a huge day for both of you, and many couples experience an overwhelming sense of excitement. There are a lot of big emotions involved on your big day, so it’s important to take the time to soak them in. As you get your makeup done and have your hair styled, sip your coffee and revise your vows, you might feel a sense of nerves — excitement, anxiety, joy — creeping into your body. As you walk down the aisle to your partner, everyone will turn to him/her for the big reaction. Seeing your partner though, the person you’ve decided to spend the rest of your life with, is a great way to bring you back to baseline. Spend a few moments together without all other eyes on you to quiet your anxiety.
Make that First Look Moment About You
The first look is also a good way to remind you who today is about — the two of you! This beautiful moment, the one that goes by in a heartbeat, is all about the two of you and the love you share! Take a few deep breaths together and ground yourself in your intentions. This may be your only time alone together all day. Soak it in!
Look Your Best
The best thing about getting formal photos done at the beginning of the day is that your hair and makeup is at it’s best. Consider having a first look and then heading straight into your bride and groom formal portraits. This will also save you time after the ceremony when the day is getting started and your guests will be excited to greet you. It may be hard to pull yourself away from the excitement for a few hours for portraits. Which brings me to my next point...
Scheduling Simplicity
Doing a first look along with some of your portraits is a good way to save time while your guests aren’t present and your bridal party is still getting ready. Many consider a first look for more than just an intimate moment, but also for the practicality. If you choose not to do a first look, you have to fit in your photos post-ceremony, meaning that you’ll likely be in a rush to get back to your guests. If you’re worried about what your guests will do between ceremony and reception, a first look with some of your portraits is a good option. You may decide to do a first look so that you can get your bridal portraits complete prior to the official start of the day, meaning less time away from your guests. A first look allows you to get a majority of your photos done before the ceremony, so that you can get to your cocktail hour and reception sooner. This means you are one step closer to popping the bubbly.
The sun may be at its highest point in the afternoon, which can cause harsh shadows. On the other hand, the popularity of afternoon weddings doesn’t mean your wedding needs to be at that time. What time of day are you and your partner at your best? Brunch? High noon? Dinner? Consider your favourite time of day, and build your wedding schedule around that. Either way, a shaded spot is best in the afternoon to guarantee cohesive lighting. Not to worry — you can leave this to me.
Take the Pressure Off
Another thing to consider is that some are extremely private with their emotions, which may disappoint the bride if she is expecting a big response the first time he sees her. Having a first look allows you both to exude whatever emotion you are feeling without worrying about someone’s reaction.
More Opportunities for Pictures
When you do a first look, you usually have time for more photos afterwards. Setting aside time before the ceremony to do your photos assures that you have that time to get lots of the photos you want without having to worry about rushing back for the reception. Many of your favourite photos will be of just the two of you, and a first look ensures you have the time to get as many clicks in before the wedding as possible.
On the Other Side of the Aisle...
Lately, it feels like the default is for couples to do a first look. There are tons of great reasons to do a first look, and there are a ton of great reasons not to! Here are some of the perks of not doing a first look:
Let Your Guests in on the Moment
The people on your guest list are the most important people in your life. You invited them to your wedding to share your big day, and what better way to let them in on that than to share your first look with them. When you both lock eyes, everyone else's will be filled with tears. The connection, passion, and love you feel for each other is tangible, and your guests will feel brought together in your moment.
Some of the Tension is Behind You
For most couples, there is an element of nervousness, stress, or anxiety pre-ceremony. Doing your photos post-ceremony can lighten the mood and often has a sense of giddiness. Your photos will exude that “did we really just get married?” feeling.
Stick with Tradition
There is no question that first looks are contrarian to tradition. Seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony is a classic approach. If you want to have a classic wedding, skipping the first look is one more way to maintain the traditional aspects of the day. It’s very important for some to keep traditions on the wedding day. Many couples fear that by doing away with some traditions, the day won’t feel as much like a wedding. I can say with all certainty, that this is not the case. At the end of the day, the wedding is all about the two of you and celebrating the love you share with all your best people! Whether you have a first look or not, your day will feel special.
Potentially Better Lighting
When couples choose a first look, it often ends up being in the middle of the day, when the sun is at its highest point. While a bright, sunny day might be perfect for your guests, it’s not the ideal scenario for photos. Without a shady spot, doing photos in the bright light can create some lighting problems, such as harsh shadows. If you do opt for a first look, you may want to adjust your timeline or consider sheltered locations. I mentioned this in the perks category too — whatever your timeline, it’s important we pick out an appropriate location for photos.
You Need to be Ready Earlier
If you are having a first look and an earlier ceremony, remember that your enter timeline will be bumped ahead at least an hour. That means you'll have to be ready earlier. If you’re known for being fashionably late, a first look can make you unfashionably rushed. Consider where you are getting ready, the location of the ceremony, and your own tendencies. Sometimes your timeline doesn't allow for you to be transported from your getting ready spot to the spot of your first look and then to the ceremony.
So... Should I do a First Look?
No one can answer that question for you, not even me! For some couples, a first look is the perfect way to soothe nerves and create a sense of excitement. Others get a charge from seeing each other, for the first time, walking down the aisle. Consider your motives for wanting or not wanting to do a first look. My advice is to choose what feels right to you, rather than being swayed by others. It’s easy to get caught up in what’s expected of you or what others may think. You don’t need to do a first look simply because it’s trendy. Think about how you want your wedding day to look, start to finish, and then think about it 10 years from now and see what you would want, or if you would stand by your decision. Many people think they have to do a first look just because it’s popular, though some people don’t see the benefit beyond seeing each other pre-ceremony. What you need to consider:
Your stress tendencies
Time management
The season you are getting married in
For example, if you are planning to have a winter wedding, you may want to consider doing a first look because the sun sets earlier in the day, which doesn't leave a large window for pictures after the ceremony
Traditions and culture
Your heart, partner, mind, and spirit
Does having or not having a first look feel right to you? Go with that.
Find Common Ground
If you’re unable to decide whether you want to do a first look, maybe you can find common ground in a unique approach. I recently photographed a wedding where the couple did a “first look,” but didn’t actually see each other. They went back-to-back and exchanged vows, because the bride wanted the first time that the groom saw her to be walking down the aisle. This could also be an option for couples who choose to share personal vows with each other outside of the ceremony. This was a great compromise, and created some beautiful images of a moment I know neither of them will ever forget. This allowed for the emotional moment of seeing each other for the first time at the ceremony, while also giving them a chance to be alone together on the big day. Whether you choose a first look or not, consider sneaking off later in the evening for sunset photos. Wandering the grounds or venue at the magic hour is often one of my clients’ favourite moments of the day. The formal bits are over — ceremony, bridal party portraits, toasts — and you can both relax. Aside from being a wonderful place to connect, the sunset lighting creates the most magical photos you’ll pour over for many, many years to come.
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